We can't give thim to anny wan without makin' th' wan that gets thim feel th' way Doherty felt to Clancy whin Clancy med a friendly call and gave Doherty's childher th'measles. We can't sell thim, we can't ate thim, an' we can't throw thim into th'alley whin no wan is lookin'. An' 'twud be a disgrace f'r to lave before we've pounded these frindless an' ongrateful people into insensibility. So I suppose, Hinnissey, we'll have to stay an' do th' best we can, an' lave Andhrew Carnegie secede fr'm th' Union. They'se wan consolation; an' that is, if th'American people can govern themsilves, they can govern annything that walks.
--Mr. Dooley on the Philippines
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When I worked as a paralegal one of our clients was large, inefficiently run railroad. A standing joke about the VP - Operations was "What's the difference between (person x) and Mussolini?" Answer: Mussolini made the trains run on time.
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