There’s an entertaining discussion under way over at Above the Law, about a lawyer who told the (bankruptcy) judge she was “a few French fries short of a happy meal” (link). She is threatening to jerk his right to appear in her court.
There’s a huge amount of chatter in the comments at ATL (boy, doesn’t anybody have to work for a living any more?), but unless I overlooked something, it missed at least three points that seem to me to be important as lessons, and also for context.
As the saying goes, this is “worse than a crime, it’s a blunder.” I don’t suppose there is a lawyer in practice who doesn’t think that some judge (maybe all judges?) is(are?) a few tacos short of a combination plate.But the secret of success in law is to learn to manipulate people who have power over you.I can’t imagine how this outburst gets you closer to the result you want (but cf., next bullet point).
Is it just bankruptcy, or is it happening everywhere? I have a sense that you see more and more lawyers mouthing off to judges, like junior high schoolers to the hall monitor. The attitude seems to be:I make a million a year, you top out at around $160,000—why should I listen to you (but cf., previous bullet point).
The judge has ordered a full-scale hearing, with formal notice to almost everyone in the galaxy. I can’t quarrel with that approach, but there is another strategy: simply rule against him on all issues of fact. Pure decisions of fact are virtually untouchable on appeal, so he goes home empty handed. He might not even know what hit him—although I concede, it would be more fun if he did.
--Young man, are you trying to show your contempt for this court?
--No, your honor, I’m trying to conceal it.
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