In which I channel the
New York Crank, so he can put food in the mouths of his hungry babes. Start with this:
Cell Phone in Pocket Catches Stray Bullet
COVINGTON, La. (Nov. 20) - A man says his cell phone saved his life. A stray .45-caliber bullet hit R.J. Richard's chest while he was mowing the lawn -- hitting so hard he thought it was a stone kicked out by his tractor. He pulled out the phone. It fell apart.
The 68-year-old man was bruised. He said doctors told him two things prevented worse injury, maybe even death: the phone, and the fact that the bullet came in at an angle rather than head-on.
Reports of pocket Bibles saving their owners' lives pop up every so often. Richard says he's sure that God told him to put the phone in his overalls chest pocket rather than a pants pocket as usual. He said that Saturday's incident increased his faith.
But Crank says it reminds him of the old Woody Allen (sic?) riff:
My mother gave me a bullet for my birthday. And I put the bullet in my shirt pocket and was walking down the street when a crazed evangelist threw a bible from his hotel room window on the 43rd floor. The bible struck me in the chest. And if not for the bullet my mother gave me, that bible would have gone straight through my heart.
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