Nothing to See Here, Folks, Move Along

Not one word of this post is new but it might be useful to keep repeating it until we have it drummed into our memory, so we know who we are:

(1) attention grasp,

(2) walling,

(3) facial hold,

(4) facial slap (insult slap),

(5) cramped confinement,

(6) wall standing,

(7) stress positions,

(8) sleep deprivation,

(9) insects placed in a confinement box, and

(10) the waterboard.

Source: Memorandum of Jay S. Bybee, August 1, 2002.

Kinda Sorta New Afterthought: Why "the waterboard?" Why not just "waterboarding?" Could it be that the blunt nominative is supposed to inspire more awe and teror than the more supple gerund? Or does the blunt nominative do a better job of uncoupling the affront from human agency (can these both be true together?)? The knout, the noose, the rack, the iron maiden? The Spanish Inquisition?

When I was in grammar school, we used to talk about "the hosepipe." "You better be careful or you gonna get the hosepipe"--the unimaginable, the ultimate, the punishment most feared. From my eight years there, I know of no confirmed case of anyone ever receiving "the hosepipe." The threats always came, be it noted, not from adults but from children. My guess it was a fiction, a figment of our dark imagination. Too bad you can't say the same about the waterboard.