The Minoans: A Testosterone-Poisoning Theory

The subject for the moment is the Minoans--those mysterious people who occupied so much of Crete until their civilization was destroyed by a great earthquake (and, later, was ousted by the Mycenaeans). The Minoans left some extraordinary archaeological remnants behind (including this graceful and elegant prince at right, seen--appropriately enough--as through a glass, darkly). But we really know very little about them. Even the name is a later invention, designed to tie them into the the legend (that we know from the Greeks) about Theseus and the Minotaur.

But we know that Minoan communities did not have walls.

Savor tht sentence again, and repeat it. The Minoan communities did not have walls. Can we even begin to contemplate how extraordinary this is? Can we think of any other society where the communities did not have walls? I mean, as soon as the first primitive scratches up a bit of water with a stick, somebody else is trying to push him aside. Indeed, you can probably make it the first rule of civilized society: whenver a person produces more than he can eat on the spot, somebody else is trying to take it away (I wanted to say "somebody is trying to tax it," but this may be too simplistic).

But the Minoans did not have walls. How could this extraordinary fact possibly be true?

One theory that apparently gained currency while I wasn't paying attention is the sugar-and-spice version: Minos must have been a female-run society, and women are nicer than men.

Now, I happen to believe (with some important qualifications) that women probably are nicer than men. But I've never found theories of feminine-run societies as plausible for a fairly straightforward reason: I don't find it persuasive that women could ever run anything in any sustained way until they got control of their own fertility. Which is to say, until about 1963. Too late for the Minoans.

But the issue here may not be men per se; the issue may be testosterone-poisoned men. I.e., men young enough to make a nuisance of themselves; in the words of Mr. Dooley, young men who go around sticking their flagpole just anywhere (indeed it is possible to speculate that the job of older men is to keep young men in line).

What if, then, it turned out that Minoan society was simply unburdened by young men? We might have a much different world than one ones we are used to.

Wait, wait, hear me out on this. We saw just lately that the absence of young men may well have contributed to the relative good order of Swiss society. Much has been written about Kerala in south India--a remarkably well-ordered (albeit poor) little corner of the world, dominated by women because the men (after impregnating somebody or other) tend to leave home for long spells at sea. Indeed, the name Junker in German society traces back to junker herren, "young men," as in "what do we do with these guys to keep them occupied?" Robert Clive, who wrested India for Great Britain, was chase out of his peaceful Shropshire home town for sitting on a gargoyle and for running a protection racket (link).

If this line of reasoning is plausiible, the next line of questioning would be--what did the Minoans do with all those young men? And of course, I haven't a clue. Send them someplace else, I guess. But until we find evidence of young Minoan men--empty cans of Minoan beer, for example, or torn Minoan underwear--I don't really have anything to support. But hey, it's a thought. Young archaeologists looking for a dissertation topic, please copy.