Thursday, November 10, 2011

McYuk: Do Not Read This At Breakfast

It is said that Toyota is not a car company; it's a bank that happens to sell cars.  Comes now  Cory Doctorow (channeling Willy Staley) with news that McDonald's' sideline in food is just a cover for its commodities brokerage business.  Doctorow/Staley explain the point on its own terms, but dark forces  impel me to repeat Cory's passionate ode to the merchandising of  "protein slurry:"
I've long been fascinated with injection-molded protein slurry masquerading as some recognizable foodstuff. I once proposed a line of perverse vegan aerosol meat substitutes like "I can't believe it's not organ meat" and "I can't believe it's not marrow bones" that would come as a soy spray in a mousse can whose nozzle mated with a dishwasher/microwave-safe mold (with plastic "bones" as appropriate) that you could nuke for a minute before ejecting the piping hot reformed slurry on a plate and popping the mold right into the dishwasher.
Afterthought:  As you think of it, there may be less here than meets the eye.  Isn't everything these days a bank?  Wasn't it a defining moment for modern capitalism when GE discovered that metal bashing was for chumps and the serious moolah was in finance?  And wasn't Vinnie the greengrocer just a front for the bookies?  Deep Throat said follow the money.  Vespasian said money doesn't stink.  Just don't get it stuck in your throat.

1 comment:

New York Crank said...

Nevermind "I can't believe it's not marrow bones." At my age, I can't believe it's not sex.

Very crankily yours,
& etc/