Who Are These Guys, Anyway?

I used to be able to name about 80 sitting U. S. Senators. I think I am down to about 60 now. I assume this is partly just the result of decaying brain tissue, but it has to be partly also that these guys are getting harder and harder to remember. I mean, I suppose it is no big deal to remember Robert Byrd of West Virginia--he's been there forever. And it is probably easy enough to remember Barbara Mikulsi of Maryland even though she is no longer (almost) the only woman in the room. And her name helps you remember Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, otherwise memorable only as a time-server who inherited daddy's seat.

Beyond that--well, I can get through New England fairly well, perhaps because I grew up back there (though I doubt I would remember Judd Gregg of New Hampshire if I didn't remember his father, the governor back in the 50s). The mid-Atlantic--well, I still struggle with Bob Caey of Pennsylvania and I be dam if I can remember Mikulski's colleague, the guy who replaced Paul Sarbanes in Maryland (Cardin, Buce, Car-din). Going further south--now really, is there any good reason to remember either Richard Burr, the Republican, or his Democratic counterpart Kay Hagen (the lady who beat Elizabeth Dole; got it).

And so forth. I think one reason why it gets hard is that more and more of these characters are just so completely anodyne, designed for no other purpose than to look good under a blow dryer. Over time they can come to distinguish themselves, e.g., as flaming right-wingers like Jim DeMint of South Carolina or Tom Coburn of Oklahoma (about the only guy in the galaxy who cam make Don Imhoff look moderate). And there is the occasional gratifying scandal--how else to remember John Ensign of Nevada? And of course with Dave Vitter of Louisiana we get a twopher--extremism and scandal in a single package.

I would like to, but cnanot honestly, say that the Democrats are a lot better. I mean, I know there are important differences between Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota and Debbie Stabenow of Michigan, but what are you going to do when they are both iambics?

And the Udalls--keeping two of them straight is hard enough, but I am old enough to remember--and confuse them with--their uncle/father ("I knew Mo Udall; Mo Udall was a--" well, he wasn't really, but still).

Still, I can't escape the conviction that is me and not them: that they are really turning into an increasingly boring lot. Makes one pine for the days when senators had names like Claghorn and Phogbound, or at least Webster, Clay and Calhoun.